I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
