Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
