if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize