i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I love you. Go after that dick
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
