So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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