Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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