We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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