would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
