I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
