look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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