how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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