3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
