dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
