Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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