Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize