I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
