Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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