i just wanna soil my oats bro
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize