Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
