I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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