I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
