ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize