i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
