Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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