I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
