Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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