either way he was missing a nipple.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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