we have pet lesbian snakes
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize