8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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