my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think I am morally bankrupt
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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