Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
