It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
