Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
high people should be assigned attendants
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
