I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
