Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize