Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
