seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Are we still banned from the library?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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