I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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