Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
