he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
