So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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