Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
