I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
