Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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