I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
