I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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