i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
