SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
