Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
