Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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