I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize