please come you make the beer taste better
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
