She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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