OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
