everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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