What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
