dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
