I want to make a zoo with you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Enjoy the penises
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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