i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize