I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
