I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
