Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
