it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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