i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
