I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it penis luge time yet?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
