I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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