u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
