FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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