I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
