They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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